We’ve all been there: The sun’s rising and you have to go to sleep and wake up in less time than it takes to dry clothes. You want to go to sleep because let’s face it — you’re damn tired, but you can’t because there’s still a 17th-century European monarch drawing breath behind the brick wall you’ve been lobbing rocks at all night. Come on Prince Albert, bite it so I can pretend to sleep.
Crush the Castle 2 is Armor Game’s sequel to their sleeper hit from last summer. It delivers the same satisfying physics-based mayhem people with too much time on their hands have come to love (this time with a nice dose of Wilhelm scream for good measure).
The gameplay couldn’t be simpler: You click once to start your trebuchet moving, then again to release its load (there’s a joke in there somewhere). The point of the game is to successfully bring various structures down on top of kings, queens, guards etc. in as few tries as possible. You start out only being able to fling logs but as you progress the game adds new ammunition types like steel shells, bombs, and acid vials. At the same time, the levels become more complex and will require the use of your entire arsenal. Also there’s achievements if you’re into that sort of thing.
I downloaded the first game for my iPod Touch last summer and I still go back to it even after acquiring gold medals on every stage. I’ve played a lot of other launch-crap-at-other-crap type games like Angry Birds or Fragger but unlike these titles Ctc offers the use of any ammunition you’ve unlocked. This small distinction adds a measure of freedom but also strategy, forcing the player to really get to know how each projectile works. This is especially important for those who wish to get gold medals because almost every stage’s gold requirement is one turn. These freedoms along with the more realistic aesthetic is why Crush the Castle is still my go-to title when I’m bored. Not to say it isn’t fantastic but get real, you don’t set time aside to play casual games. Unless you do. I don’t.
Ctc2 also has a level creator and a massive online community chock full of people’s creations, so the fun is really endless. If there’s one gripe I have with this iteration it’s that it feels significantly easier than its predecessor. This might be due to it having additional ammunition types but I didn’t have any trouble getting golds in every level and trust me I suck at everything.
So set some time aside for Crush the Castle 2 or if you haven’t already give the first game a shot. Also keep your eyes peeled for this title’s inevitable iOS release.
Do you enjoy hitting yourself in the face with a shovel? No? Well what if it induced an earth-shattering orgasm? Super Meat Boy is kind of like that.
…without the embarrassing emergency room trip.
Okay— think about the hardest platformer you’ve ever played. Now remove frustration due to crappy hit detection or poor controls. Add in a kick ass soundtrack and you’ll still be a few miles of awesome away from the slow-roasted badassery that is Super Meat Boy.
Team Meat’s flagship title is the updated successor to Meat Boy which is a free flash game on Newgrounds. “Why pay $15 for this when I can play it for free online?” Because this one is super you fart-wrangler. It’s not for the faint of heart as it offers a plethora of levels tougher than the chewiest gristle (especially the “dark” levels which are thankfully optional). To top it off before each new set of levels players are treated to short cutscenes that nod to classic game franchises of the 80’s and 90’s. Scrumptious!
Exceptional gameplay built on a sharply original concept with killer level design, air-tight controls and just enough difficulty to have most players stumped but not so hard as to send them into a homicidal rampage.
Super Meat Boy is available now on XBox Live for 1200 Microsoft Points, Windows via Steam or Direct2Drive for $15 and will soon be released on Nintendo’s WiiWare and MacOS. If you are ready for a challenge and love a good platformer you owe it to yourself to play Super Meat Boy.
Now if you’ll excuse me I think I’m going for seconds.
May cause: frustration, difficulty sleeping, wallet leakage, inability to keep track of time, urgent urination, an increase in snack food consumption, and an occasional feeling of euphoria.
Gameine is all about video games. Specifically those video games that suck you in, take over your life, steal all your money, probe your anus and tell the judge you aren’t fit to operate a motor vehicle OH GOD I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE WHY CAN’T I FINISH THIS LEVEL??
Ahem. So this is about the games that continue to play on the backs of your eyelids when you’re trying to sleep. I’m going to root out all the narcotic games and point anyone reading this in their direction for instant gratification.
At least you won’t get track marks or a bloody nose.
Possibly the munchies though.